“If you were asked to describe yourself in three adjectives, what would they be? You cannot use the words ‘mom’, ‘wife’, ‘daughter’, or ‘grandma’.” This is an exercise we do in my Coffee in the Neighborhood gathering every month. I love watching the faces of the women as they choose their adjectives. Some know right away. Some really have to think about it. Some women can only think of two. Me? I have a hard time choosing only three. I like to be the first with this exercise so I’m not tempted to use one I’ve heard as we go around the room. Do you know which words you would choose to describe yourself?
Happiness always sneaks in a door you did not think was open – Unknown
I am asking this question because for years I felt like I lost myself. I was “Matthew’s mom”, or “Joshua’s mom” or “Darrell’s wife.” I put my needs last and dedicated everything I had to my family. Suddenly, Matthew and Joshua grew up, moved away to college and I found myself wondering who I was. For the first time in years, I really had to think about what I wanted out of life.
Seven years ago my life completely changed. As I sat in a conference room with my boss and HR director just a few days before Christmas, I heard the words, “We are letting you go.” I remember walking to my car, calling my husband and meeting him at a Cracker Barrel so we could decide what we were going to do. We had our son, his wife and 2 children living with us while they looked for a new home and I wanted a plan before I walked through the door. I actually cannot remember the next few weeks but I do remember my husband wrapping his arms around me and saying that we would be OK. As I sat updating my resume, I realized that I didn’t want to be that person anymore. I wanted to step out and do something new. I wanted to be my own boss.
“My goal is to create a life I don’t need a vacation from.” Unknown
I have really grown in the last seven years. I went from not knowing who I was to a person with confidence. I still tend to put the needs of others before my own, but that’s not such a bad thing. I continue to work more hours than I’d like, but my company is flourishing and for that I am grateful.
My challenge to you this week is simple.
Find three adjectives to describe yourself. Write them down in your journal. Think about who you are as a person. Have you created a life you love? Think about what you would be doing if you could create a life that is perfect for you. Write down exactly what you would be doing. Think about what it would take to get you to that “happy place.” Remember, it is never too late to build a life that you love.
Seven years ago if I had been asked to describe myself in three adjectives, I would have struggled, but finally said, “tired”, “hard-working”, and “dedicated.” Today it’s hard to choose just three. “Blessed”, “Happy”, and “Self-Confident” are a few that come to mind. Oh, and I am “grateful.”
“You will never have this day again, so make it count.” Unknown
Have a blessed week!
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